Being a sports fan in California is kind of like going to your prom with a cute girl who loves jesus more than you. That is to say, maybe something is going to happen, but it most likely will turn out horribly if you even try. All of this goes for every team in California except the Lakers, I guess, who seem to have some measure of success.
Firstly, no team in CA has won anything (except the lakers, of course) in the last sixteen years. The last team to win anything was the San Francisco 49ers and that happened way back in 1994 when they slaughtered the Chargers, another California team. Let me start by segmenting my disappointments into sports and then teams.
Basketball -
Basketball is by far the most disappointing sport to be a fan of in California. Like I said before, this doesn't concern the Lakers. When I think of the Lakers I put them in the same category as the Yankees. They're a team that has huge advantages to other teams. To start out with, the Lakers have more money to spread around than the average NBA franchise. Moving on - this isn't about the Lakers.
Most disappointing team goes to ............ THE SACRAMENTO KINGS
I've spent so many hours rooting for the Kings from 1998-2004. I used to watch every game that was on TV. They had so many promising seasons where they were unstoppable. Then they would face the Lakers in the playoffs and immediately choke. Their players all took turns choking hardcore.
Worst players for the Kings - Jon Berry, Jason Williams, and Chris Webber
These players may have some solid distinctions among Kings players but to me they're just shitheads. The reason these two guys (Jon Berry and Jason Williams) are garbage is the same reason that unassuming white guys will always be the best pointguards - because they play fundamental basketball and don't fuck around. Jason Williams is the quintessence of fucking around. He does this behind the back, no look pass bullshit but it does no good when the pass goes out of bounds 82% of the time. If I was William's coach I'd bench his ass with a quickness whenever he starts that shit. Sure, it looks really cool and gets the crowd excited to see amazing passes and half court shots, but when they fail the majority of the time they're simply not worth it.
Jon Berry is a waste of space. Whenever he was put into the game for the Kings I would cringe knowing that he'd just shoot three pointers and miss twenty of them in a row.
Chris Webber was a huge crybaby whenever he played. He always had this sad face when he played and he just couldn't get the job done in the playoffs (which I guess is why he was part of the Kings). And he was dating Tyra Banks during his time with the Kings. She was on the sidelines and he probably paid more attention to her than the game and it definitely showed.
The Kings won their division in 2002 and 2003 only to be soundly raped by the Lakers. One series was exemplified by this moment http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKBm2kevXQk
I want to puke when I watch that clip! My love for the Kings has substantially declined with their ability to even get to the playoffs. They're absolute garbage now, they even make the Warriors look good.
In my next post I will discuss how the Warriors and the Clippers are both horse shit. Both are their own brand of horrible. Until next time.
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